Tuesday, August 10, 2010

18 Cats and Counting Cont.

Where we were we? Ah, yes, I was sweating like a whore in church, and just met up with the second guy.

As I was walking towards him I apologized for being a dumbass, which he laughed about and lead me towards the proper caffeine establishment. He scored a table by the window while I got something cold to choke down in hopes that it would help hinder my skin from crying. I'm all nerves at this point because I'm socially retarded. So, I excuse myself to go to the bathroom and then freak out while I'm in there. Here's the commentary that was going through my head while in the restroom.

Pull it together, pussy. And for god's sake stop sweating all over the place. That's right, fix the hair. Ok, you don't look that bad. All we have to do is trick him into thinking you're normal for a little over an hour and then you can go back home and watch Shark Week. 

The guy was hilarious, and after a few awkward minutes I started to calm the 12-year-old girl down inside of me and could carry on a conversation. Our conversations ranged from "what do you do with your free time?" to discussions about pegging. Yeah, again, I'm a catch. 

At one point he looked over and noticed a brick laying on top of a stack of newspapers. He mentioned offhandedly that he wanted to take it home. I told him he should, and fucked with him a little by saying, "When little Lola, that's what I envisioned our first offspring's name to be, asks us how we met, you can bring the brick out as memorabilia of our first date." He quickly followed with, "Yeah, I'll show little Lola that this is the brick I hit your mother over the head with to knock her unconscious and rape her." I swooned. I know, I'm going to marry a serial killer. I quickly followed with remarks about how we were too poor to abort little Lola and how my friends did not possess a steady hand in regards to maneuvering a wire hanger. He laughed and said, "So, Lola, you're a miracle baby!" 

We joked like that for over an hour. At one point we were people watching from the window and I noticed a group of kids playing outside. All of a sudden I watched a little blonde headed boy twirl around, lose his balance, and then smack into the window right in front of us. I died. I couldn't stop laughing. In all seriousness, I hope that child is ok, because he hit the window at such an alarming speed and at such an intensity he's probably slightly brain damaged, or cockeyed. 

We wrapped things up at the coffee joint and he walked me to my car. At one point he said, "Let's prom date it" and extended his arm out for me to take. I did so and he smiled and said, "Now let's skip!" So we skipped to the end of the block. I started feeling like an ass so I pulled my arm out from his and he goes, "Oh, do you see someone you know? Oh shit" and then proceeds to run 20 to 30 feet away from me. I couldn't stop laughing. 

When we got to my car I hugged him goodbye and when we pulled apart he said, "Well that was an awkward first kiss." I laughed and joked by saying, "What kind of girl do you take me for? I don't kiss until the 7th date, gosh!" 

He's a funny guy. I'm not sure if I see anything besides friendship, but I'll keep an open mind about it. He contacted me about hanging out this past thursday, but I was busy looking at mack truck etched tombstones. I sent him a text yesterday letting him know I was back in town. The ball is in his court. 


  1. So okay funny guy who doesn't freak out with the "our baby" jokes on the first date after you blew him off twice. I think he might be a keeper.