I'm leaning forward, clutching my stomach. “Why the fuck did we do that?” The room is spinning and the vision in my left eye is getting blurry. “I'm going to be sweating grease for a week.” My roommate/best friend challenged me to a 50 McNugget challenge and I don't back down from shit.
It all started one fateful Sunday when the two of us had absolutely nothing to do.
Roomie: "So, what do you want to do?"
Me: "I haven't really thought past sitting on my ass. What would you like to do?"
Roomie: "Want to try to eat 25 nuggets a piece?"
Me: "Why the fuck not?"
Our local McDonald's has this super sweet deal where you can purchase 50 McNuggets, 2 drinks, and 2 fries for $15. Yay for coronary bypass surgery! We paid* and giggled like 12 year old boys that just found their dad's porn stash.
We started out innocently enough. Each of us getting through a 10-pack with no problems. I noticed that she was a little bit ahead of me. She noticed that I was downing some fries like Kristie Alley at a free taste testing at Krispy Kreme. We started to race.
Me: "I'm going to fucking merk your ass."
Roomie: "Look at me, I can clearly eat more than you. I'm built like an ox."
Me: "I have the stamina, and enough bad judgement, to push past you, bitch."
We're neck and neck. I finished my fries before her, but she had a few nuggets on me. That's when we both hit the wall. We're sitting there, she's gagging, I'm sweating, and we both look at one another with pleading eyes. Please, dear God, one of us agree to back down. NEVER! I push past the pain and start stacking nuggets on top of one another and swallowing like a boa constrictor. When the last whole nugget slides down my throat and burns it's way into my stomach, I stand up and say,
"YOU GOT PWND BITCH!!"
Then immediately laid on the cool, hardwood floor of our apartment to ease the hot flashes.
I know it was absolutely ridiculous, but you know what… I FUCKING WON!
*I ended up having to charge our McDonald's adventure on my card because we couldn't break it up at the window. So, I now have a $15 + tax charge on my bank statement from McDonald's; which is some humiliating shit.