Wednesday, August 18, 2010

I Hit On A Gay Man

I have two friends that are playing this really weird game with one another. They act like a couple, hang out like a couple, but don't fuck like a couple. I don't get it. They get super fucking crazy about doing one another's friends. So, when A-hole told me that her boy Future Serial Killer (FSK) wanted to stab me with his meat stick, I a) felt super uncomfortable and 2) wondered if he knew that even though I act like a man, I'm not equipped like one (bummer).

(FSK has a feminine voice and mannerisms much like a girl. He also got drunk and made out with a dude once. He totally likes the peen; he's just fighting these urges and I don't know why.)

Against my better judgment I've been hanging out with these two loons. FSK has started hitting on me. I've been counteracting this unusual behavior by reciprocating his actions, because what's nastier than a vagina trying to rub on you (icky!).

Last night I got a little inebriated (drunk as shit) and decided I was going to mess with FSK. He's hitting on me (telling me he's going to rape me) and I turn to him and say, "Let's go up to your room." So we go upstairs, I sit on his bed, he sits next to me. Stupid shit is spewing from his mouth. I sit there silently, looking at my feet. He's smirking at this point thinking that he one upped me on this game of chicken we're stupidly playing. I tell him "Alright, let's do this" and start to take off my shirt. He hops up from the bed and books it the fuck out of the room. I can honestly say I've never got that reaction before.


  1. Thats awesome! You called him out on his nonsense and got him to back down!

    Plus you knew he was gay, i have friends that hit on gay men and don't realize they are gay. Which is hilarious.

  2. I really like this. You got some balls. Er, ovaries.


  3. Came here from Coyote's blog.
    This is awesome. I wish more girls were forward like you.
    And he's really into the peen.