Monday, November 1, 2010

Reevaluate (with Humor Included)

Ok, I've calmed down. Even though I'm still a little pissed off at myself I'm starting to see the humor in the crazy ass situation. I've learned more details about my drunk ass. Apparently, I blacked out in the middle of the day as well. My friends told me that I climbed into the passenger side of someone's car to take a little nappy-poo, and when they tried to get me out I kept repeating, "Nay!" We also went to the grocery store to pick up more alcohol (clearly, great idea) and while my friends are inside picking up the goods I escaped from the car, and take a piss in the middle of the parking lot. The roommate said, "We come outside and there's your ass for the whole world to see." I was taking a nap in Babs room and as I was lulling off I noticed the rape button that's installed in the wall for emergencies. Guess who thought it would be hilarious to press this button over and over again? I had standards at the beginning of the night because one dude was dancing on me and tried to kiss me, the roommate said I pulled back with a look of disgust and said, "Dude... are you fucking high?"

Eh, the moral of this story my blogger friends... for the love of God, eat something before you go on a 24 hour binge drinking extravaganza. Also, if you're going to attempt to lose your virginity, don't pick a grenade because your friends will be sympathetic for about an hour before the jokes start. I'm ready to try sex with a hot person now.


  1. Wait, no one came (no pun intended) when you pressed the rape button?

  2. Oh yes, they came. Her apartment complex has security on staff and they came a handful of times because I thought it was hilarious to press it again every time they left. Eventually someone figured out I was the perpetrator and they told me they'd "kick my fucking ass" if I wouldn't stop.