Monday, August 30, 2010


  • I hate cats, but for some reason I fell in love with Bagheera's doppelganger and I now have a bed covered in cat urine. And I still have yet to kill him. 
  • I was voted Best Sense of Humor in high school. I secretly hated being the funny girl because I didn't think anyone found me attractive. I used to wish that people would see me as a nymphet. Now, I hate that people view me as something sexual and wish they'd view me as the hilarious motherfucker that I am. Isn't life a bitch?
  • Before I send a text, I'll reread it about 4 times to make sure it's worded to my exact liking. 
  • I don't think anyone knows my true self. I don't think I know how to even express who I am or what I want to be. 
  • If you crack an inappropriate joke that silences the room and makes everyone uncomfortable, I'll want to be your friend.
  • If you've seen every episode of Jake and Amir, I'll want to be your friend.
  • If you feel like very few people really get (and appreciate) your sense of humor, that very few individuals are genuine, and that it's damn near impossible to find people that can live in the moment and enjoy one another's company without looking for something mundane to distract them, then we are soulmates. 
  • I cried when I watched Pride & Prejudice. I also cried and couldn't finish Heidi when I was 8. 
  • I hate my birthday because of the stigma tied to it. You have to have a bloody spectacular day, damnit.  
  • I am happiest when I'm in the car, driving somewhere long distance. 
  • I'm constantly testing people to see if they're passionate enough to continue. 
  • I don't know how to NOT be guarded when I interact with people. 
  • I've never been romantically in love with a man. 


  1. I always cause awkward silences!


  2. Newly following you after reading your comment on Sara Swears Alot. OMG! I nearly pissed myself imaging your "goof" then I was roaring when I read your mom's response!!!! I read it to my 16 year old and she said, "I thought it went that way too at first!" I never knew that about her and I wondered if she was just that naive or am I a horrible parent for not teaching her earlier how to shove cylindrical items up her vag. I mean, this really could have been an issue later in life. I WANT GRANDKIDS!!!

  3. First of all, Nicki's comment is awesome.

    Second of all, judging by that list, I'd say we are definitely meant to be friends.

    Hate cats? Check.
    Voted "Wittiest Senior" in high school? Check.
    Reread texts and emails before hitting send like a psycho? Check.
    Inappropriate jokes that silence a room? Double check.
    People never get my jokes because they're obviously not as cool/funny/amazing as me? Triple check.

    Do I get a card or something for this friendship? Like a member card?

    Also, I need your address so I can send you your prize. : ) You can send me an email at tatorhead328 at yahoo dot com.