Well, I'm glad I fucked up so quickly on this blog because now we get to have a bonding experience. I'm going to disclose information that hints to serious daddy issues, I'll cry, you'll read awkwardly with this face…
"What the fuck do I do?"
In all seriousness, let's talk about the presence of my hymen. That's probably a lie, that bad boy had to have been busted, naturally, by now. But figuratively, it's still intact.
I don't bring up my virginity because I don't really think it's that important. I'm not holding onto it because I'm going to marry Jesus or anything; I'm still untainted because I believe in this fictional thing called love. I really want to lose it, and regret it a year later, because I thought I loved a retarded boy. I just have yet to meet someone that can rival the love I already have for myself.
The funny thing that I've noticed about people when they figure out I'm hymenally-challenged is they
1) Think I'm a unicorn
B) Think I've never seen peen before.
Come on now, peeps. Granted, I do have the mental capacity of a 12 year old, but I have a bit more experience than one. It's called alcoholic mistakes.
I think the reason I'm addressing this in a blog post is because in our drunken text convo, second guy said to me "You don't have to let your virginity define you…" I know that what that really meant was "You can come over here and let me tickle your belly button from the inside" but I couldn't help but wonder if everyone views virgins as these uptight, skittish mythical creatures? Unfortunately I'm a foul mouthed, perverted, skittish virgin.